This is a recurring thought that I dwelled on after the death of my wife from cancer. Death and divorce have a similarity. That is a feeling of abandonment. It’s not the first thing that you think of when your spouse dies or when you are served papers. Instead, you are presented with a lot of activities and ‘Things to do” that you surely didn’t have on your ‘To Do’ list. When the dust settles and you are home alone at night with your thoughts, there is a dull ache. A feeling that something is missing. In some cases, it may be a feeling of being discarded by the person that is supposed to know you best. In other cases, it is the realization that everything is about to change and I will have to muster the courage to do everything by myself. It can feel like your world stopped spinning but it continues the same as always for everyone else.
Quote – “Whether you are happy and successful or frustrated and miserable is a result of your mindset. And your mindset is determined by your inner beliefs – Beliefs that you get to freely choose.”
There is most certainly a way out of the over-thinking and the frozen feeling that comes with abandonment. As contrary as it may sound, throw yourself into serving someone else’s needs. I found that to be the way to take the focus off of what was going on in my life and get outside the pain I was feeling. Maybe it is because the actions that go with it are generated by addressing the needs of others or maybe it is just the break your mind and heart get when it is not about all the “to do’s” that are waiting for your attention. Whichever it is, the simple act of getting involved in someone else’s life allows you to have a better perspective when you get back to the tasks that are waiting for your attention.
Spend some time answering the question, “So…what now?” Imagine that there was no ability to fail. Set your sights on the target you choose and take action consistently to move toward your dreams. Small steps. 1% a day. Just 1% a day focused on anything will make you almost 37 times better in one year.
